Few Thoughts on a Saturday Evening

ONE:

This month was entirely tiresome and thinking about the work and experience, I sometimes re-think as to if it was me who really was busy the entire month. Everything started off with the print media internship. It was all uncertain when a translation assignment was entitled for us. Late, we came to know that it was a silent entrance into the next stage of the internship. In seven days, I got to be the part of the media cell at International Film Festival of Kerala (IFFK). The work was good and got one of the best experiences. The thirteen days at the festival was heck lot of work plus fun. We had to do press releases and by the end of the third day, it was all becoming easy. Got to see some good films too, of which two dominant ones are Kini and Adams (Idrissa Ouedraggo) and My Marlon and Brando (Huseyin Karabey). Another one which struck me was Free Zone(Amos Gitai) for its first scene of a lady crying. The song is still ringing in my ears. The second last day ended with a sweet sour note. The treat at Saahi Darbar was delicious but the girls in the team had to undergo a minor accident. Yes as I said it was minor. But how would you feel when you come to know that the driver was drunk??? And that too when some people at the festival knew he was and they sent us with him? Bad huh! Yeah! That’s exactly how I felt too. That anyway went with the wind though we tried to swirl it up. One more fact that I realized is that professional friends remain for the time being. And this time also I had few ‘time being’ friends. It was a good experience anyhow.

TWO:
I had seen Vaaranam Aayiram, Tamil movie by Gautham Vasudev Menon before joining the internship. I loved this movie. I went to see it again. It has done well at the box office and is still running in theatres here. Though the movie is kind of filled with impractical incidents, the fantasy of making one happy through impracticality has been applied well. Hats off to Harris Jayaraj for the wonderful music; All the songs are staying live in me specially Nenjukul Peidhidum, Mundhinam and Annul Maele.

THREE:
The travel daily up and down is a good experience. Thiruvananthapuram is a normal city and I have always found it normal while I live here. But I seriously miss the place while I am at my native. The journey back from native to the city (which is just 2 hours by bus) is one I enjoy everytime. All the places seen again and again does not make me tired of seeing it again. The closeness I feel with the city when the bus pulls into the bus stand and move to my home makes me chant the words “Oh God…Thiruvananthapuram, the City I love”.

FOUR:
Not having much commitments in life, being born to a wonderful dad and mom I have had the privilege of living a tension free, independent life. Now being a final year student, life is beginning to take serious turns. I have started to think about the future courses and the like. But these tensions get a temporary full stop (.) or a semi colon (;) let’s say, when I get thoughts about the upcoming college tour.

FIVE:
Till last week, the evenings were rainy and cozy, and I used to feel romantic, but today its not all the same. The weather is too hot and not a musical one. so I have no romantic thoughts to be jotted down here. Yes I did think of my love (No people, I haven’t found him yet, but imaginations can be let loose) holding my hand and walking with me. Err..is that too lame to be romantic?

One Saturday evening and these are some thoughts that went through my mind. I am also looking forward my hostel life that’s going to begin on January 1st. Oh yes that reminds me of the New Year. Sometimes I have felt celebrations have started to take a reverse turn. Well Anyway, Happy New Year all !!

I feel like being alone in a theatre and listening to my favourite instrumental music......all alone......

60 Hour Attack

“For all those who faced the 2 terrible days and for those who laid down their lives for the nation… We Love India, let something like this NEVER happen again….”


Those hands slid through the sharp blades
And cut the veins of the hearts they held
Unexpected the rifles flew through the air
And thronged the bodies of hapless souls

Insecurity and desertness where hours counted
Sixty hours of breathless pain
A feather drop on the side led screams on
And cries that were held suppressed long

Suffocating agonies to tighten the stress
Prayers began to lose hope
And still the rifles thronged in everywhere
When the world outside gasped every second

A state where all emotions, trust and hope
Stood head down out of shame
A scenario where the civilians of the country
Stayed aghast pleading for help

When lives were in the hands of guns and rifles,
and the saviors who laid their life for us
We salute them with Pride!
For the bleeding game between life and death

It was a push from the cliff for the human kind
A fall which the Government could have rescued,
We need a thorough flush out, A Complete Change!
We need a responsible Government that hears the peoples cry.

I am in Love with the Mist that has covered the other side of my home.... :)

it pains
like a chain with thorns
sliding through my heart...
it pains...

"Expectation is a drug...u get addicted to it so fast even though u do not want to take it anymore..."

Suicide

There was an article regarding the punishment for suicide. I too agree with the view that a suicide attempt should not be penalized or punished. An attempt to suicide is just an instinctive decision of the mind. When one thinks of killing her/him self, it is their own decision. A failed attempt would lead to only depression to the individual and an extra approach to punish the same would only lead to more mental problems.

How does it feel when you are in the brim of finishing your graduation and the options for a good future and selection of the best area for the future is still a glaring question mark in front of you…?

The Piano Room

It lead me into a room that was dark
And eerie
And looked like havens arena
Notes of music, salsa-ing and balae dancing
In the ball room of my mind
The plaintive tunes went high and low
And moved to and fro
Glimmers of light lit up and blinked
And it let the music flow still
Into the glassy ocean of innocence

The keys black and white when
I played it sensuously
It led me into a room of
Fantasizing dreams and colorful
Thoughts...

Like the dead ends when a music note
Finishes playing … it echoed with all mite
In the ears that longed for thirsty drops
In a quenching heart.

I held a brittle glass piece in my hands
It gleamed towards the sight in front of me
And there were few drops of water in it.
I could see some visuals clear, and some disfigured
Through the water droplets
Yet, I realized that the clarity through the glass
was indeed fake or mediated.

Some nights feel dead. The creatures squeaking outside seem to be in a whisper now. It’s not always welcomed. I mean this kind of emptiness. Even if there is rain, today it felt like a dirty rain. Something went wrong in some place. An awkward feeling, it doesn’t feel so nice. Some feeling that has to go unidentified in the bluish lavender strand of life.

When the blank document page in front of me still stays blank and stares at me with gleaming white, there is something that goes unwritten. White is peace, but here, white means blankness, a sudden emptiness. Yes, sometimes, feelings or mood drops! It drops with a jerk in the mind, that it goes unnoticed or rather unidentified. Rage complimented by fear, anger anguish all come and go by in through this time.

It is an unexpressed thought, something or maybe I questioning myself.

Life's a stance....its like moments passing away unknown, and letting feelings stride away even though you know ur not feeling the way you should....

THE DAYS YESTERDAYS...

The days yesterdays were soothened dreams
that fluttered and swung on the
flower laden swings of sweetest
hopes and enlightening wishes.

The days yesterdays were petals blooming
to sing aloud the joyous tunes
of love, lust and anger
that twinkled with laughter like
the many ripples on a puddle of emotions

The days yesterdays were the pages of a book
kept for scribbling down memories
that swayed and flashed and for some which stayed engraved
to be re-read and remembered while
passing through the unwindening turns
in the never ending road of the journey of life...

The days yesterdays,
often had promises kept untold and secrets shared
with a foam of soothness that
lathered on the layer of happiness, love, friendship and care...

The days yesterdays,
will have pencil marks that may be erased off
in the deeper course of the journey,
and engravings that would
remain bold in the depths of expectations and remembrances....

It's raining again....... :)

Yes, the rain is again splattering and spluttering near my window. Its been raining since long today and I am enjoying every second of it. The coolness of the rain takes me to a world of lightness and serenity. It’s like music flowing into the ears. Rain was once a symbol of sadness for me, but now, I wait for it and I love the company and the happiness it gives me. I love to see myself in the peaks of happiness when it rains. Often, my love poems sprout out when it’s raining heavily. I don’t like thunders and lightening. Here, I meant just the silent dance of the silent rain. Yes…I love the weather when the water drops are just splashing and splattering beside me….

Some of my thoughts on feminism and self

First and foremost, I am NOT a feminist.

Feminism is not fighting for a women’s right. Rather it is making yourself acclaimed or proven worthy in a particular field. I don’t believe in being 'equal' to any man, but I believe in having a certain understanding or balance with the opposite sex and hence creating a harmony. Human relationships are mainly based on understanding, so one should be able to understand the other person inorder to make your stand ready.

One’s self is the foundation for every action and reaction that takes place. If you are confident about yourself, then there is no need to make your self forcefully proven that you mean something. If you believe in yourself, then, even if the entire world is against you, you shouldn’t worry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When you love the person who does not
‘seem’ to know you,
That ‘you’ might be the biggest question mark
In the eyes of everyone else,
Except,
Your’s…

Lament for the trees that adorned my college route....

June 5th 2007
Walking from my home to my college, there is a long route. That route is adorned with huge green trees. The trees occupied one half of the road. Along the ‘tree road’ the rain water splashed…when we walked by it, the footprints lay behind. The road beside was congested, yet, no one seemed to have trouble driving there. I never took an umbrella during the summer. It was always cool under the leafy shelter. The large avenue took us to the broad world of knowledge vivacious with its natural beauty. The mere presence of green was the driving force of any student of my college.

June 5th 2008
Walking from my home to college, there is still a long route. The route is now adorned with metal fences and concreted roads. The trees were all sent off and I had to even witness the farewell. The road now seems even busier. The traffic does not seem to have reduced. The rain water never waited for us to leave the footprints ‘coz concrete does not absorb water. I can see saplings being planted but, how many more years will it take for those to be grown into trees.
My bag is always heavy, be it summer or rainy season, I have an umbrella with me. The natural umbrella that was once there, is now nothing but just a part of sweet lost memories. Now like the concreted college, all our thoughts have become or started to become solid. There is no inner driving force to speed up our minds. Its only if we think to make up, we can.

Oh dear trees, which adorned the college route…. I miss you so much…. I everyday wish I had passed out of college long before you were being betrayed by the same species who planted you there.

:) :) Juz felt happy...so.... :) :)

When the whole world sleeps and you have just your headphones and some good music to listen to with a mild breeze blowing from the window side, you can feel the simplicity of this world and the beauty of how you can feel so happy with yourself….you really don’t feel like having anyone else with you at that time…it’s a feeling that cannot always come in us. And if you are lucky, you can be supplemented by rain too…that too juz drizzle…

Life’s so pleasant…actually everything is pleasant. Its just how you view it and how you approach it…and for me when my mobile balance is a complete zero, I feel so light as I have no liabilities to call anyone…

But expectations are nice…just don’t expect too much…you expect your phone to blink sometime…but it may just not…no, that should matter or hinder your happiness.

An uncommon friend messaging you saying…”hey Winnie, just thought about you. So msgd…gnite “ …sweet na? such moments are precious…coz these are unexpected…

Life’s good. And will always be good…

DRUG

You are like a seductive drug
That injects in me just poison
To drain off my tears and
In the end leave me dead.

Asatoma Satgamaya

Let the mind travel in tranquility
Into the deep woods of truth and innocence
Let it travel the yards and valleys
Of the unsaid facts and temperaments of the universe

Let the mind move in consciousness
Into the widest stream of existing delectation…
And let it surge the urge to find out
The true meaning of the existence of this world…

Let the mind see the lit lamps that glow
Glow at the nudeness of the corroding world
And try to erode the rust off the edges of human mind
Let it try to cluster the randomized thoughts into one…

Let the mind find ways to seize the mistakes
Of inner selves and bring into ‘Dharthi’
The sweeter melodies of caring the earth…
And softer ways of loving the nation…

Let the mind break the chains that bound the psyche
And help it to move in the path of righteousness
Let it stop the growing narrowness
And help oneself to move along wider paths of broadness…

Asatoma Satgamaya…
Tamasoma Jyotirgamaya
Mrityorma Amritam gamaya
Om santi santi santi…..

Yet I Let My Emotions Float...

The bridges of emotions standing front
Blocking the paths of my transparent passion
Realizing unimportance that was serving me all while
Yet I let my emotions float…
Through the rough paths, always miles.

Those naked facts strangling me
Passing by my face so sharply clear
It tore the veins of my passion’s dream
Yet I let my emotions float…
in the river of repeated ignorance

Hopes that befriend me are tireless
Hurts and pains abound me to the deepest
Expectations confront me in the path of existence
Yet I let my emotions float…
even in the solitary solitude of tears…

Open arms spread abroad for an embrace to give you
Blowing my frizzy hair in the morning air
Never would thy come to me I know
Yet I let my emotions float…
In the decrepit creak of expectations…

Words that my pen scribbles on about you
Disguises its way of feeling of what it actually means
But my hands stagger if I write ill about you
Yet I let my emotions float…
through the serene pages of the book of love and only love…

The Corridor

When in that dark corridor I stood
Knowing nowhere to go or how to move
When I took my steps forward,
Something was pulling me backwards

Was it something? Or was it someone?
I don’t know…I never could make out…
When that dark corridor called me to go
I could feel its sound echo in my ears

Still, I dint know which way to move…
I tried putting my steps forward…
The noise of my foot steps also echoed in the corridor
Still, my mind was pulling me back

And the threads that bound my mind was strangling in itself…
I leaned against the wall next to me
And my bangles fell on the ground…
Broken and shattered into pieces many…

And still I felt some haunting music inside me
Beating harder and harder
The walls now became stained with blood
I covered my face inside my hair…

And still stood their silent…
Those pieces falling on the floor…
That too echoed through the corridor
Something was pulling me back…

Still, I dint know how to move
And I stood there silent and stunt…
In a stance as though blankness occupied me…
Without even moving a single step forward…

hey all...

this is an interview I gave recently...

http://bluewhale-bluemangobooksblogspotcom.blogspot.com/

do have a look and drop in your comments...
rgds
Winnie

RED

Red, red, red , blew the wind
It blew the curtains to and fro
Flashed memoirs good and bad
Through my mind it flashed a bright!

It all seemed like illusions
like mixed colors splashed in oil
I couldn't make out blue or yellow
my emotions all seemed oily stained

It was red, red, red
Red within me, a sudden gush of love
Love, blank, un-understood
Red, dropped tears with a rush of anger

The mixed notes of ambient music
Thronged into my ears and still...
I couldn't make out why it was red
Why it was red within me...

It played till its highest tone
And broke at the peak and left me….astound!
Like a break fall of emotions
Emotions un-understood, complete love, anger and anguish...

Scrapping!

Well guys was wondering what to write. all these days it was just my poems and articles and when i was going through it i felt it a bit too formal. of course u guys wud get bored always reading my stuff. [:p]


hmm...me a mass comm student... and now completely enjoying the course i took. it has helped me express myself in so many ways. and this is another way of communication. well. i feel very nice today. today has been nice. as if now in college, nothing much of studies are happening. its always some fest n all. n we are thoroughly enjoying the no-class environement! hehe...actually u know its the 4th semester and we r supposed to be glued to our books as the university examinations are coming about. hmm but this semester seems to be the most lively of all and the most busy of all.

was just wondering wht was there in my books. seriously i havent gone through so many things...hmm as of now i am not feeling guilty about it. i may feel one day before the exam hmm!!

wot else...have got few great frens now...feel as though i have so many poeple around to taek care of me! its a good feel u know...


its ma frend Naila's bday on 27th n my bros bday too....happy bday both of ya...

well....wot else to write....hmm nothing much now...

will talk laters then....byee for now....

VISION TO HEAR

The music flowed down the stream
Down the mountains and hills’ esteem
Like the twinkling ripples on the river
Or like the melodious way the birds quiver

She played the keys both black and white
Tunes were her dreams that played! Played with mite…
Her eyes were glowing, glowing with hope…
But only if her vision to hear could cope…

The melody that came was sweet as honey
Which would not melt away even if sunny…
Her fingers played the magic all…
But her ears could hear nothing at all…

I can hear her sweet melodious song…
Which she has been playing for time along…
To her they are melodies unheard, bitter…
Bitter to her…but in real, melodies unheard…sweeter…

CALCUTTA NEWS- REVIEW

CALCUTTA NEWS


After a few months gap, director Blessy has come up with a promising new film, Calcutta News. Unlike his usual films which are family based, this is a very moving and fast movie. Majority of the film being shot in Calcutta gives it liveliness and energy. It is mainly shot outdoors.

A continuous blue tone has been used for the film which helps the film to have a documentary effect. The film can be called as a ‘film inside a film’ wherein the main story is being portrayed as a story taken by the hero Ajith (Dileep) a journalist and reporter of Calcutta news channel. Featuring the ‘shadows’ of Calcutta, the movie has succeeded in showing the ills and the malpractices in the city. Holding nothing unreal, the film is full of facts.

The female character played by Meera Jasmine steals the show. She has once again presented a marvelous onscreen presence and dedication in acting. Dileep has improved in the acting style and the hair style change has helped him to have a completely different look. One point worth mentioning is the transition shots. The transitions have been done so uniquely that the audience can get the real flow of the film.

The music score also has importance and the slow and melodious music is soothing for the ears. The love between the main characters has also been portrayed well. In some scenes, violence is even depicted by silence.
Cinematography by S.Kumar needs a big clap and the editing work has also been done superbly. The movie used more of documentary type shots.
The director has succeeded in keeping the audience rooted. The film has suspense, facts, love and thriller scenes.
The other characters of the film include Innocent, Bindu Panicker, Indrajith, etc.
This is a sure box- office hit and worth your money. So don’t miss it!!!

The German Shepherd

They left me abandoned
On the road
I barked for them day and night
Yet when I was bitten
I was thrown on the road

Axe across my heart

It’s like the axe piercing into my heart
When it sways to and fro the trees body
Those ancestors alive since years thousands
The mere existence for survival of human life on earth
With their wide arms spread to
Protect the species on earth
They live because they want us to live
They breathe to give us the oxygen we need

Alas! They are no more here…
The kingly pride which was there to take us along
They were cut and cut and cut
By the mere people who are not even their son old!
Leaving just sand and dust
Dust that blinds the vision of man
Now its all parched and dry
There is no life in the paths we walk

Now I can see some wires and iron bars
Which are the embryos of industrialization
When its all taking a new life
No one ever thinks of the trees which once lived there…
And they say…cut down a tree and
Plant two…
But may I ask! Who will pay for the time that he needs to grow?