Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"And on the roads of the seasons rode,

With Summer the feeling of

annoyance, fury and anger...

along came the joy of springing happiness

and the sober tone of tears wetting

on the roads of the paths of rain,

a feeling of love and romance scaled

followed by the autumn of falling hopes

and winter of emotions numb..."

Emotion is one of the guiding factors that determine the actions that a person does. What is emotion? It is in a way the way in which we perceive something. Emotions are feelings that engulf us in different ways. They change and vary within us like seasons in a year. In a way seasons and emotions are closely related. There are certain factors that cause an emotion to act in particular ways. If we try to gather together the various emotions that practically co-exists with us; to name a few, Anger, Love, Sympathy, Fear, Indifference, isolation, depression, joy, enlightenment etc, we can at some point of time relate it to varying seasons. The emotions can of course override us in situations of extremities, but at a basic level, the common emotions that are dominant in us given particular situations may act the same for many people.

Now, close your eyes and take a walk with me. Visualise a stroll along the road that is filled with yellow flowers on both the sides. And allow all the five seasons; Summer, Spring, Monsoon, Winter and Autumn walk along with you…

Summer is usually characterised as Sunny, Bright and Hot. Summer reflects the emotions anger, annoyance, irritation and the like. Taking a walk along a summer road would seem really irritating as the heat of the sun can practically pierce into your skin. However happy one may try to keep oneself, the heat that surges into the body will at a point keep the mind disturbed. With the summers the longing for the Spring blooms in our minds.

Now, a freshening thought about the freshening season ahead would give an internal rush of happiness and joy. Spring can be made to ensemble with the bright colors like yellow, green and colors of joy. Often during spring you may feel to just stroll around your favorite spaces. The same road that you walked during summer would seem brighter and filled with joy. Sometimes it is possible for a really unhappy person to suddenly feel happy. That is the power of season and what nature can offer us with.

The Monsoons have a mixed emotional behavior. It can make a person entirely joyous as though floating in the air and on the other hand, it can make him feel really depressed and sober. Sometimes, the reasons as to sudden sadness or happiness or any kind of emotional shift cannot be traced. The seasons and the atmosphere that you are in will have an influence on it. The pelting down of raindrops down my windowpane was one factor that I disliked once. It sometimes endured in me a pain that I wanted to get rid of. But, at times rain has made me happy and a surge of happiness engulfed me. The feeling of coolness runs parallel with the emotion of love and romance. An overdose of coolness would put us in winter. Winter relates to a feeling of numbness and immobility. The laziness in us awakens in the winter.

The next emotion that haunts us is grief and passing away of joy. The sight of falling leaves will leave us with a thought of passing memories. The falling leaves can be thought of as a reminder to a new and more pleasant event that may be coming up. The feeling of loss and failure will be over ridden with the feeling of hope in that case.

At times emotions can act weird with us. There can be a mix of many of them together. One may find oneself in s difficult situation to understand oneself. We are all, unconsciously, people who are guided with the foreplay of emotions. As I said earlier it co-exists with us. Like the passing of the seasons in our life, the emotions would come in and go out leaving a stance every time it makes an entry and an exit.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I had been away from this city since the past five months; precisely four months and 26 days. Life in my host city now is way different when compared to my home land. Now, it’s been two weeks since I’ve been here at the heart of Trivandrum and what say….! I am falling in love with it all over again…Absolutely! Trivandrum when drenched in the rain that pours slightly almost everyday now, is like a rose flower that got drizzled.

I haven’t seen more than one movie having been in Bangalore the past few months. The fact that a movie ticket costs almost Rs. 120 keeps me away from the theatres. The less expensive entertainment that Trivandrum provides us, with the warmth and caress of a dear one, makes one feel more close to home. I saw the movie ‘Swa Le’ just now. The movie was dragging in between, however, it has got a sweet ending. Somehow, after the movie when I got out of the theatre, the breeze gave a sudden gush of happiness inside me. And such happiness happens only when you totally love something.

Some thoughts that are running past my mind now…;
  • The hot teas that you get at the road side…nothing can taste better and make you feel better than that on a rainy evening.
  • The cinema posters that I saw around and still see around, all looked so alien to me the past week. I felt as though I have totally lost touch with this place. But now, all of them are becoming familiar.
  • The sight of your mother-tongue being displayed on the boards; yes, that also makes me feel so at home.
  • Meeting up with old feels like you are a kid once again..! :)
  • Sometimes, a short walk in the rain through the super clean and sometimes really filthy roads would give me a feel to enjoy the blacks and whites of the city and of life.
  • And yes, the transport. How I missed the ‘meter system’ and the K.S.R.T.C buses. A crowded bus on a busy day can be fun if you make yourself happy inside it. I had a fun ride once on my way back home.
  • Home made food- it is one of the many factors that keep driving me back home often. Nothing can beat the delicacies at home.

After five months from June 11th 2009, Thiruvananthapuram still looks the same except for few changes like the progression of the bridge construction at Bakery Junction, the lawn now totally green and beautiful at Palayam and the slight changes in the bus routes.

All together this city has given me a threshold of memories and places that I keep thinking of to get back to. And often I’ve felt that it is this longing to get back to somewhere you love is one among the factors that keeps life going on. It might me a place or a person or an incident, a moment; let free what it might be, but a hope of happiness at the other end of your life keeps the inner you joyous and glee with enthusiasm.

Once again let me say my heart out…

I am Falling In Love…with Trivandrum…all over again…Absolutely…

Monday, October 5, 2009

[Dedicated to all the newly married]

As life takes it turn to churn the pleasure
Of its magnificence
While we travel through the
roads of mixed emotions,
I’ll tie the knot around you
Bonding us for the rest of our lives,
And I’ll walk you along the
path of togetherness
Holding your hands throughout
Ensuring my presence always
To befriend you wherever you go
I’ll wish to stay with you all through my life
When this day becomes
beautiful in its own way,
With the memories that we’ll keep enclosed
in our sweet box of secrets,
I’ll whisper the words ‘I’ll be there for you’
A silent oath we’d share
To live our lives in happiness...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When I walked through the road
that bound not end,
That cast me the shadow of me in them
On the sides when the beetles creaked its sounds
And when no breeze blew to sway my hair,
The yellowy light that to and fro-d
The calmness of the night
that walked me through
A little thought into the minds avenue
Of the days passed through the busy ends
Of life and myth and many more mysteries to unfurl
Like the beats of the table I hear away
Life takes its beat in its plaintive way...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Like a dampening sponge of heaviness,
The moments I thought of drenched through
So I decided to be silent like a dead storm
My silence does not mean that I do not exist…

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I was just taking a stroll through the corner of my mind with my friend Gautham and came across some ideas that I wanted to think more about and would like you to think about too. After reading this post, I would like you to sit back and find the answer to a question I would ask at the end.

“Our mind is a unique combination of thoughts, feelings, facts, interpretations, imagination, creations, innovativeness, tactics, ideas and a wide range of similar aspects. These aspects when looked closer fall under the genre of ‘invisible features’ that are present in our day to day life. The mind is in a way an ‘invisible being’ that lives with us. The decisions that we make are the processed results of the minds activity. It conditions itself to certain tactics and rules from the very beginning of our growing period. A person behaves in a particular way in a particular situation by applying the various rules the mind has kept set. Sometimes mistakes are committed knowingly. In such a case, the mind warns the individual that it is doing a mistake, yet the person indulges himself/herself in the act. In a way, the mind is the machine that is capable of solving the problem it creates in the most apt way. Once it realises the mistake, if one takes an effort to correct it or at the least regret, the act would be ‘forgiven’ by one’s self. That is the self defence that the mind gives to its owner.

Ones identity depends on the way he/she portrays himself/herself in the milieu of others. An individual who has complete control of mind would never have an identity crisis within himself/herself. It is most important for one to be true to the self. At the end of a day when you lie down on your bed, ask your conscience who you are. If the acts that you did in the short span of your life suddenly stand out as thorns that would hurt your mind’s ethics, then you should help exercise yourself to redefine/explain yourself in the court of your mind. The answer to who you are is there only within yourself. As long as your mind is able to sustain and keep up with its ethics, I would say, you have complete control of yourself.
In a situation where all the norms of the mind are violated, (unknowingly in the beginning and knowingly towards the end), the self of the person begins to weaken. It is a state when a human mind that was once a palette with the many ingredients in life starts to become null and void and in the end lose its self consciousness. The question as to who you are when asked to a person in such a situation would be answered in such a way that the mind has tuned itself to act in ways against its own ethics. I believe this is a particular situation where one loses his/her identity and conscience, resulting in a state where the negative aspects that creep into the mind overtake the normal state of mind. One should be successful in his/her life by being able to revert to the right conscience.

Now that you have read this post, I would like you to sit back and ask your conscience the question- ‘Who you are’. If you are able to come out with an answer that is true to yourself, then I believe You are so far a successful human being.”

Monday, July 6, 2009

The silhouette faded sleek and elegant
Against the dark milieu of hidden reality
The figures of the shadow outlined meek
Stripes that formed shapes of knots and loops.
When my eyes are closed, my vision sees
Those lines again, shaping and reforming
Into shapes most unfamiliar
Blending itself to the depth of
A sober tune of a plaintive song
That is flowing in the arena
And thoughts, pale, white and pastel
Took a stroll through my minds avenue.
In the depths of myself a sudden gush of emptiness
Filled in when those shadows started to strangle
And even now against the dark milieu of hidden reality
Fakeness that is hidden under the hands of the
Creepy, pale, fearful, sober reality,

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Essence of those fruits,
that laden on the flower bed
Rose high above and spread
its wings amidst the air…

The air that sprinkled drops of joyous water,
And a thunder-less silent downpour of rain.
That murmur that I hear on the mellow outside
Gives me a sensation of a pleasant
Yellowish tinge of happiness.

When in those autumn days,
Those yellowish orange flowers
rained down to earth,
The dryness if the summer filled land
Was blessed with an autumn melody.

The sweetness of a jasmine flower
Spread through the mist
And a lovely song of this monsoon mist,
Played aloud its sober tone
With the lovely rains still dancing silent, lonely,
And with a fragrance of a happy fruit of joy.

Friday, May 8, 2009

The emptiness in the nights
that I went through many
were moments when invisible streaks of the blood
in my heart,
got spilled in the air.

Everytime when my answer was silence,
I wished the silence was decoded.
But, the deeper me was still left locked.
The pain in my heart only welled up even more,
and a tiny prick would burst it anytime.

Even when my heart trickled pain
after it could hold nothing more,
My silence was still left un-understood.

And after the burst,
A stitch in my heat is impossible.
It would bleed...
Bleed till my death.

Its painful taking you away from me.
But, its even more painful stitching my heart...
with your memories, thoughts, past emotions

Friday, March 6, 2009

Lights fell on the soothened glass floor,
Blue shades went glimmering on and off
Along with the notes of the piano playing…
The dim light poised in the dark a seep through reflection
of the drums, the saxo, the guitar and violin…

In the centre of the room,
Sat two souls, embellished in the music,
Breath-tight with emotions
Affront them danced images
Black, red, yellow and often white…

Memories past in front,
Their hands held tight,
A longing to hold on for long
A phase in life, faced
Left explained and understood

Those colors mixed tear and smile
And gave a cocktail emotion of
Departure, distance, challenges and newness
The many happy days of laughter, sorrow, smiles and cries…
A look ahead into life

Emotions beat hard against the way
Life should go,
And they still sat hands held
Eye watered and smiling
As the music blue red, yellow and often white,
Danced the many tunes in front of them…

Monday, February 23, 2009

Wow!! Slumdog Millionaire made it! I couldnt help but jump like how Danny Boyle jumped on stage today! ha ha! The Oscar declarations felt like all pastries going into the same tummy!
Now this is a day to be remembered by every Indian- the 23rd of February 2009. Congratulations Slumdog Millionaire....Jai Ho!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You have white paper in front of you and some thoughts wandering about in your head. How would it feel when u find it difficult to jot them down on to paper?
Hmm..that's something that I went through the past two months before writing 'Void', yet, all my feelings have not come out....
Feeling rather strange..!
All I can see in front of me
are some blank faces with null expressions,
the once cherished feel of
exuberance in love and
the lilac flowers that made a
dancing lawn afront me,
have now rotten up into a
shadowless, colourless feeling
of a frightful emptiness, filling up in me.

The older days of tears and pain,
when the thoughts of those pass through my vein,
A sleek fear of a re-entry crosses my heart again.

Those dainty days when I
was like a chirpy bird, happy, delighted,
have come to a sudden halt.
Redefining myself now, I experience
a state of mind engulfing in me,
making me feel completely emotionless,
completely void...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

How does it feel when you watch the first show of a very sought after movie on the first day of its release? Great right? Yes, if you are a movie buff, then you would surely feel the same. Slumdog Millionaire (Slumdog Crorepati in India) was and is in the news air since quite a few days. Having in its pocket ten Oscar nominations, it really created awe in the minds of movie enthusiasts. It was the media that welcomed the movie on the first day of its release in Thiruvananthapuram. Majority of the viewers were from the media including professionals and students.
The movie inspired from the novel Q & A by Vikas Swarup travels through the experiences faced by Jamal, a boy brought up by the slum, now a participant in the program ‘Who will be the Millionaire’, his brother Salim and an orphan girl Latika. The director Danny Boyle was has been able to successfully portray the slum of Mumbai effectively. The cinematography, editing, background music score all need equal appreciation. Music was used with optimum variation in situations that required it.
The film has an equal mix of an entertainer, with strong love, feet tapping songs, and scenes of tension.
We Indians can surely hope for the music score to win an Oscar. Being nominated for it is already an achievement. Like all of you, I am also waiting for February 22nd which now keeps me holding on to hopes for the Indian cinema to achieve better horizons.

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