Mask

Even when the bond of love held me so tight

And tangled itself into a knot that seemed unbreakable,

And I felt as though the ultimatum of my life had reached,

Silent prayers yet were chanted for a fear that lay instilled.

Wasn’t expected to strike so hard and right into my heart,

Like a piercing arrow just digging deep and splurging out the red, red blood

And I felt as though my heart could absorb no more

And it heated up so high, only to melt away into nothingness.

Just feels as though the triumph to end up on a happy note,

Was just not mellowing into a peaceful river, and it felt as though

more prickly stones were thrown and thrown only to strike me so hard

and still so beaten, so soggy in the tears that dripped down my eyes , a hope still remains.

As saturated as one can get, where no more can be absorbed,

Everything else just seems to hit the periphery and bounce back into ether,

And my heart overflows, and tumbles, broken, and it weeps to find no ending,

And yet,

I wear the mask of happiness, just smiling away into the deeper depths of painful sadness.

Love Feels like This

I can feel the ecstasy of your breath,
Just so close to myself, as though the fog
Gently dripping into the misty dream of sweet love
Your hands so firm in mine, and held with a grip
That promises it all,

In the showery evening, when the rain drops gently fall
Beside me, as though wanting me to drench myself into you,
And when we lither into the depths of an unending bond,
Holding us so tight and binding us with the chains of emotions, so secure
That no breaks can break the relationship we share.

I can feel the smothering exuberance of plentiful love,
Just surrounding me and drifting through the days of my life
And giving it a meaning it never had, making me smile everyday,
And I feel speechless, when we are so secure with ourselves,
In this sweet laden life, of delicacies, fragrance, honey and love.

Love, like it never was, overpowering the self that I had,
Into a multitude of dreams, once forecasted, sometimes forgotten
Often wanted to be remembered…
Now it all just comes into this array of never ending sweetness,
And I want to float like this, seamlessly, never wanting to let go,
Let go of you…

My Floating Zone

In the zenith of untold mysteries,
As the smoke and fumes rise high above
And whisk away into the eternal rays
Where the light streaks and peeping colours mix into a dangle

I float on the ethereal sun,
The zone where everything seems so vivid and
Haze-free and where many mysteries untold,
Unfolds into reality and truth not foreseen.

I can see many tears around me weeping
And wiping away little drops of sadness
Into the multitude of dreams and lost hopes
I can feel myself still lost and expecting…

This zone where everything seems endless and possible,
My dream and fragrant sorrows,
Sometimes float through myself
As though hiding away behind a transparent mask…

She’s my Lily

As the fragrance spread through the mildest stroke
Of wind that passed by my side,
I heard the chisel sound of her bangle, slightly dangle
Near my ear, so sweet a song that kept ringing on and on…

And then her voice whispered slight chants of melody
Which spoke like a fragrant lily waiting to drip a drop of honey
On the pathway, down the lane that was spread with
Rose petals, many a colour, red, yellow, pink, and white…

When her hands just crept on to mine, I could notice,
As I gazed into her eyes, which told me stories many,
That her eyes smiled, and chanted few words that only souls could hear
Into a sea of eternity, endless, deep and manifold.

And then, it echoed in my ears, that she was my Lily,
the flower that bloomed in my life, and which stayed afresh
like a sinking fragrance that sank into the depths of my soul
slowly engulfing me into an aroma that sweetened drip by drip
in this sweet laden gift, called life, through which I live now, everyday…

The Deliberate Coincidence

Beyond the mesh, of unprecedented lives, and parallel hopes,

A longing that wanted to be,

To hold close to heart forever, when vowed,

Circumstances, had then foreseen the happiness to not to follow.

And then in the mesh of different thoughts, and different life cycles,

Where every human thought is linked with the other,

A deliberate yet silent attempt to bring the future into my hands,

And then the aura of commonness and togetherness took shape.

When the universe just acted in favour, like wishes being granted for granted,

The frequency of thinking and the bond of understanding,

Just sped into like a virus leading to an epidemic

Only to realize, in the forerun, that indeed, an epidemic is a disaster.

Why when all the chains in the mesh were linked so beautifully,

Some didn’t behold the strength, some were coated with beliefs and superstitions,

And those just dominated, to rust away the bond,

and the chain of sudden coincidence was just broken down, alas!

As all the events have a happier ending,

The better end was sought for, where no-one was to be seen upset,

Though the prick lay, wounded, the happiness took a turn

To make a consolation, where happiness had to be deliberate, yet from within.

The Summer Mist

The orangish tinge of lime fruits in the orchard

Tripped through my tongue tip,

Like a streak of bitter-sweet-sour thought just taking a

Glimpse through my wandering mind.

And the morning, an unusual dew filled the air,

Engulfing the space with a snowy coolness, and a gush

Of mild wind just stroking my hair like someone

Patting me down to sleep.

Somehow, time did not want to move, and pace forward

To see a pricking summer noon, and it stood still

In the morning dew, not wanting to drip the coolness in the air,

Like a child clinging on to his mother’s hand, not letting her go.

The mist in the air, once again swept the fragrance, and

I smiled at its happiness and joy, like an unexpected visitor

On a summer day, somehow, I wanting the summer mist to stay,

and not sway away and melt into the scorch of the heat, of the summer sun.

DREAM FORECASTED

There is a hallow of air around me,

and moisture filled atmosphere,

through which I breathe and feel

a mellowness of coolness, pampering

cuddling like a soft pillow on me,

The coolness seeps into me like a soft

Sponge filled with sugary sweetness.

Streaks of light, fluorescent and colourful

Purple, orange and blue,

Flickered through my eyelids

And then there was transition of phase,

And lapse in time...

Two drops of tears fell onto my hand,

And wept through the lines of fate

I held your hand tight

the variant lines of fate joined and cracked

as though in fortune and wrinkled.

On the road ahead there were boulders and rocks,

Stones and pebbles

And our lines of fate became stronger,

A suffocation of dependence and then tears again...

Pelted down as though you couldn’t let go...

Then the lights streaked again and there was transition

And change in the path well lain, but tough to climb

We climbed, searching a new destination,

On the peaked mountain,

I remember whispering these words,

Assuring...

“There might be boulders and stones

that roll over from the cliff,

but I will hold you firm throughout the journey

making sure you don't slip a step”

And once again the transient lights flickered,

now waking me up into a confused state,

heavy, yet light, in a state of frenzy, cool,

lightened emotions...

Transience, towards the future, a dream...

No...

The reality forecasted...

Vacuum Un-suffocated...

The magnitude of thoughts

That randomly swings through my mind

When the aura around me is silent,

And the space around me is vacant.

The vacuum that engulfs the speed of

Thinking, as the emotions rotate

In a motion that is constant, but sometimes

Confused in its own state

A realisation of freedom,

Sudden from thoughts to actions,

Some strings that were tangled up

Just set loose, in a floating mind

Some sounds of inner thoughts,

Longed for the present day

And no one regrets to have this say

To let loose the barriers that confronted once

When the world outside is still the same

A different view to view the same,

It is happiness and liberation

Which makes my thoughts go insane

As words just overflow,

adhering to my passion’s pace

the aura from within cannot stop, but smile

and enrapture itself into the glory of my existence...

The New Bride’s Thoughts...

As I stepped out to a newer world

Where everything around me seemed alien,

Something that I hoped for,

Wished and waited long for

In the multitude of happiness

That surrounded me, in the forms

Of joyous faces, and clattering voices

Every time my heart sank into the

Ponds of happiness and departure

A feel of letting go,

But that which will come back to me

A sense that I don’t feel like giving up

As I see the faces, those with me since long

Sudden distance, but that would only

Make me closer to them,

I feel the happiness and pain together,

When to see those faces again,

I wait for the time they would come again

In the alien world I am right now,

Would stagnate in its ways of life,

Which I know I should get used to,

As I travel a phase of life from where I was

To a newer world where I should belong to...

Marriage Hues

Sandal fragrance engulfs the space

I call home, where laughter and smiles

Ponder from one face to another,

And the bangles variant in colour

Jingle,

Chime, and sparkle in the yellow light

The children run hitherto

Blooming in their new attires

With glistening eyes and twinkling smiles

And the home glows with brightness

Sings,

Dances, and move in the mood of happiness

The bride await in colours

Orange, red, and shades of elegancy

With the smile that blinks inner joy

And gracefully talks with random thoughts

Hopes,

Expects, and await the lovely day forthcoming

The home is then an Eden

That is filled with overflowing joy

And happiness unbound

It is a beginning of a new life, to

Travel,

Bridge closer and live to entirety.

Cocooned

Entangled in the strings that bound the thinking

Leaving no space for free thought

Suffocation within the mindsets of people

Deriving happiness within the walls of existence

Covered, protected and resistant to break open

To see the brightness in the world outside

The slimy layer that covers the eye lid

Blurs the vision of existing mankind

The meaning of living in a delectate world

Within the happiness that is masked

The world seems to have lost the chime

To smile with an open heart

An open heart seems to be just a phrase

The widening of the economy shrinks

As our people still live in a cocoon

Cocooned in the protective layer

Not able to withstand the subsistence of their fellow beings

Trying to build walls and bridges across,

To keep away happiness at the doorstep

And encourage the happiness inside the cocoon.

And...After the Forgotten Sonnet...

The years that went past me are now memories

Memories down the lane that are now bygone

Into the threshold of dried leaves and forgotten sonnets

The notes those when played then, had the right tunes

and...

then the strings broke and the tunes died

and...

there was a silence, like the one that spoke no words

but suffocated to speak a lot

and then went days when it was understood

and sometimes forgotten.

And...

then it started to pour

and drizzle not in the land,

but in my mind...it began raining heavily

its not a melancholy that I hear now

its a sweeter one...a sweeter sonnet

the rains sung in their beauty

and for once the melancholy is not heard

the sparkle has entered

and the forgotten sonnet is still forgotten

and I have a new note that sings

merry and joy and love which will not be bygone

down my memory lane...

Fervour

Dedicated to Thiruvananthapuram :)

The fervour of the earthy soil

Smudging softly through my skin

The splatter, the twinkle, and the softness

Of the breeze, flowing from the east,

The fervour of the sun’s rays

Lighting my hair ends, sparkling

The smell which seeps into my lungs

And brings the inner joy

The widening of the joy in my lips

And the drop of rain on my eyelid

The fervour of the rhythmic anklet

Which I had once forsaken

And the screeches of the little creature

Outside my window,

The fervour of the delicacies

Melting in my mouth,

Home it is, the heaven of peace I had longed,

Through the crowd and thickness of time

When sometimes, I forgot to look into the self mirror

To peep into what I am, what I was going through

This moment, had been longed

And the fervour, pure entirety

Will live,

Long.

Why do you walk blind?

There is a dark room

I stand drenched, soaked

I tap through the darkness music, void

I can hear the voice, not mine, not yours, but a dead tone.

There is a way to drift away in thoughts,

Soaked, soggy, salted sweet.

The scars that my nails bore into your skin

The blood which stained your wear,

Forever,

How long can you go blind?

Like the dark room you can see,

But you close your eyes tight,

And walk to hit wrong walls,

Your wear stained

I can hear those words,

Deceptive, I may put it as one,

In that dark room, I still can

Hear void music,

Deceptive.

A Bit of Complicated Thought...

One among the many factors that I don’t understand of the human mind is;

‘The reasoning it gives for the happiness derived from causes that are material but peripheral in nature’.

Let me try to explain this statement with an example. Take into consideration that there is a brightly lit blue coloured glass on a table that is filled with a sparkling liquid [Note: The liquid here is poison]. The aura around the glass is such that one can’t stop looking at it. The factors that tempt one to keep staring at the glass are the colour, the shape, the gloss, the shine and the sparkle in the liquid.

The human mind is so tempted to drink that liquid in the glass only because of the peripheral aura that it creates. The sub conscious mind very well knows that the liquid in it is poison and the end result would be death. Now, in this situation, the mind decides not to take that liquid but the feeling that the entire package looks nice still persists.

I hope I was able to make my point clear. It is so difficult to relate to what the mind thinks at times. And the human mind is the most self defensive tool that it finds reasons for everything that it does.

Random Thoughts

I walk on crossed roads

With petals many,

Some green, some yellow

And some a mid mix

There are footsteps that tap,

Some fast, some slow,

Some confused and random

I walk on crossed roads,

I can hear people talk,

Some loud, some whisper,

Few it seems like they’ve fallen in love...

I walk alone,

I drift, I sail, I hum,

Random thoughts pass,

Some fast, some slow, some waver,

Along with the mood

I walk on crossed roads

I drift, I sail, I hum...

'Aathma'

As the rusty cabins where the soul is held

Gripped and chained like breathless birds

A voice that seems choked and dry

Tries to scream out its words, heavy, but creaked.

As the solemn woods dark and deep

Lay unearthed in the wet soil

The creek sounds of the beetles and hoppers

Streak through the silence in the darkened mellow.

As silence engulfs and suffocates the ears

The creaks that are feeble are heard in fear

Those arms try to break the chains

And burst out into the world of ignorance.

A streak of hope within the soul

That is left empty to be filled in full

There are faces that hide behind armours

Those seem strong and rigid but are just false masks.

The darkness has now swallowed up the ray

And made the vision black and none

The senses are open like alert alarms

But there are confused strings that chain the soul tight.