Vacuum Un-suffocated...

The magnitude of thoughts

That randomly swings through my mind

When the aura around me is silent,

And the space around me is vacant.

The vacuum that engulfs the speed of

Thinking, as the emotions rotate

In a motion that is constant, but sometimes

Confused in its own state

A realisation of freedom,

Sudden from thoughts to actions,

Some strings that were tangled up

Just set loose, in a floating mind

Some sounds of inner thoughts,

Longed for the present day

And no one regrets to have this say

To let loose the barriers that confronted once

When the world outside is still the same

A different view to view the same,

It is happiness and liberation

Which makes my thoughts go insane

As words just overflow,

adhering to my passion’s pace

the aura from within cannot stop, but smile

and enrapture itself into the glory of my existence...

The New Bride’s Thoughts...

As I stepped out to a newer world

Where everything around me seemed alien,

Something that I hoped for,

Wished and waited long for

In the multitude of happiness

That surrounded me, in the forms

Of joyous faces, and clattering voices

Every time my heart sank into the

Ponds of happiness and departure

A feel of letting go,

But that which will come back to me

A sense that I don’t feel like giving up

As I see the faces, those with me since long

Sudden distance, but that would only

Make me closer to them,

I feel the happiness and pain together,

When to see those faces again,

I wait for the time they would come again

In the alien world I am right now,

Would stagnate in its ways of life,

Which I know I should get used to,

As I travel a phase of life from where I was

To a newer world where I should belong to...

Marriage Hues

Sandal fragrance engulfs the space

I call home, where laughter and smiles

Ponder from one face to another,

And the bangles variant in colour

Jingle,

Chime, and sparkle in the yellow light

The children run hitherto

Blooming in their new attires

With glistening eyes and twinkling smiles

And the home glows with brightness

Sings,

Dances, and move in the mood of happiness

The bride await in colours

Orange, red, and shades of elegancy

With the smile that blinks inner joy

And gracefully talks with random thoughts

Hopes,

Expects, and await the lovely day forthcoming

The home is then an Eden

That is filled with overflowing joy

And happiness unbound

It is a beginning of a new life, to

Travel,

Bridge closer and live to entirety.

Cocooned

Entangled in the strings that bound the thinking

Leaving no space for free thought

Suffocation within the mindsets of people

Deriving happiness within the walls of existence

Covered, protected and resistant to break open

To see the brightness in the world outside

The slimy layer that covers the eye lid

Blurs the vision of existing mankind

The meaning of living in a delectate world

Within the happiness that is masked

The world seems to have lost the chime

To smile with an open heart

An open heart seems to be just a phrase

The widening of the economy shrinks

As our people still live in a cocoon

Cocooned in the protective layer

Not able to withstand the subsistence of their fellow beings

Trying to build walls and bridges across,

To keep away happiness at the doorstep

And encourage the happiness inside the cocoon.

And...After the Forgotten Sonnet...

The years that went past me are now memories

Memories down the lane that are now bygone

Into the threshold of dried leaves and forgotten sonnets

The notes those when played then, had the right tunes

and...

then the strings broke and the tunes died

and...

there was a silence, like the one that spoke no words

but suffocated to speak a lot

and then went days when it was understood

and sometimes forgotten.

And...

then it started to pour

and drizzle not in the land,

but in my mind...it began raining heavily

its not a melancholy that I hear now

its a sweeter one...a sweeter sonnet

the rains sung in their beauty

and for once the melancholy is not heard

the sparkle has entered

and the forgotten sonnet is still forgotten

and I have a new note that sings

merry and joy and love which will not be bygone

down my memory lane...

Fervour

Dedicated to Thiruvananthapuram :)

The fervour of the earthy soil

Smudging softly through my skin

The splatter, the twinkle, and the softness

Of the breeze, flowing from the east,

The fervour of the sun’s rays

Lighting my hair ends, sparkling

The smell which seeps into my lungs

And brings the inner joy

The widening of the joy in my lips

And the drop of rain on my eyelid

The fervour of the rhythmic anklet

Which I had once forsaken

And the screeches of the little creature

Outside my window,

The fervour of the delicacies

Melting in my mouth,

Home it is, the heaven of peace I had longed,

Through the crowd and thickness of time

When sometimes, I forgot to look into the self mirror

To peep into what I am, what I was going through

This moment, had been longed

And the fervour, pure entirety

Will live,

Long.

Why do you walk blind?

There is a dark room

I stand drenched, soaked

I tap through the darkness music, void

I can hear the voice, not mine, not yours, but a dead tone.

There is a way to drift away in thoughts,

Soaked, soggy, salted sweet.

The scars that my nails bore into your skin

The blood which stained your wear,

Forever,

How long can you go blind?

Like the dark room you can see,

But you close your eyes tight,

And walk to hit wrong walls,

Your wear stained

I can hear those words,

Deceptive, I may put it as one,

In that dark room, I still can

Hear void music,

Deceptive.

A Bit of Complicated Thought...

One among the many factors that I don’t understand of the human mind is;

‘The reasoning it gives for the happiness derived from causes that are material but peripheral in nature’.

Let me try to explain this statement with an example. Take into consideration that there is a brightly lit blue coloured glass on a table that is filled with a sparkling liquid [Note: The liquid here is poison]. The aura around the glass is such that one can’t stop looking at it. The factors that tempt one to keep staring at the glass are the colour, the shape, the gloss, the shine and the sparkle in the liquid.

The human mind is so tempted to drink that liquid in the glass only because of the peripheral aura that it creates. The sub conscious mind very well knows that the liquid in it is poison and the end result would be death. Now, in this situation, the mind decides not to take that liquid but the feeling that the entire package looks nice still persists.

I hope I was able to make my point clear. It is so difficult to relate to what the mind thinks at times. And the human mind is the most self defensive tool that it finds reasons for everything that it does.

Random Thoughts

I walk on crossed roads

With petals many,

Some green, some yellow

And some a mid mix

There are footsteps that tap,

Some fast, some slow,

Some confused and random

I walk on crossed roads,

I can hear people talk,

Some loud, some whisper,

Few it seems like they’ve fallen in love...

I walk alone,

I drift, I sail, I hum,

Random thoughts pass,

Some fast, some slow, some waver,

Along with the mood

I walk on crossed roads

I drift, I sail, I hum...

'Aathma'

As the rusty cabins where the soul is held

Gripped and chained like breathless birds

A voice that seems choked and dry

Tries to scream out its words, heavy, but creaked.

As the solemn woods dark and deep

Lay unearthed in the wet soil

The creek sounds of the beetles and hoppers

Streak through the silence in the darkened mellow.

As silence engulfs and suffocates the ears

The creaks that are feeble are heard in fear

Those arms try to break the chains

And burst out into the world of ignorance.

A streak of hope within the soul

That is left empty to be filled in full

There are faces that hide behind armours

Those seem strong and rigid but are just false masks.

The darkness has now swallowed up the ray

And made the vision black and none

The senses are open like alert alarms

But there are confused strings that chain the soul tight.

A Ride with Emotions and Seasons…

"And on the roads of the seasons rode,

With Summer the feeling of

annoyance, fury and anger...

along came the joy of springing happiness

and the sober tone of tears wetting

on the roads of the paths of rain,

a feeling of love and romance scaled

followed by the autumn of falling hopes

and winter of emotions numb..."

Emotion is one of the guiding factors that determine the actions that a person does. What is emotion? It is in a way the way in which we perceive something. Emotions are feelings that engulf us in different ways. They change and vary within us like seasons in a year. In a way seasons and emotions are closely related. There are certain factors that cause an emotion to act in particular ways. If we try to gather together the various emotions that practically co-exists with us; to name a few, Anger, Love, Sympathy, Fear, Indifference, isolation, depression, joy, enlightenment etc, we can at some point of time relate it to varying seasons. The emotions can of course override us in situations of extremities, but at a basic level, the common emotions that are dominant in us given particular situations may act the same for many people.

Now, close your eyes and take a walk with me. Visualise a stroll along the road that is filled with yellow flowers on both the sides. And allow all the five seasons; Summer, Spring, Monsoon, Winter and Autumn walk along with you…

Summer is usually characterised as Sunny, Bright and Hot. Summer reflects the emotions anger, annoyance, irritation and the like. Taking a walk along a summer road would seem really irritating as the heat of the sun can practically pierce into your skin. However happy one may try to keep oneself, the heat that surges into the body will at a point keep the mind disturbed. With the summers the longing for the Spring blooms in our minds.

Now, a freshening thought about the freshening season ahead would give an internal rush of happiness and joy. Spring can be made to ensemble with the bright colors like yellow, green and colors of joy. Often during spring you may feel to just stroll around your favorite spaces. The same road that you walked during summer would seem brighter and filled with joy. Sometimes it is possible for a really unhappy person to suddenly feel happy. That is the power of season and what nature can offer us with.

The Monsoons have a mixed emotional behavior. It can make a person entirely joyous as though floating in the air and on the other hand, it can make him feel really depressed and sober. Sometimes, the reasons as to sudden sadness or happiness or any kind of emotional shift cannot be traced. The seasons and the atmosphere that you are in will have an influence on it. The pelting down of raindrops down my windowpane was one factor that I disliked once. It sometimes endured in me a pain that I wanted to get rid of. But, at times rain has made me happy and a surge of happiness engulfed me. The feeling of coolness runs parallel with the emotion of love and romance. An overdose of coolness would put us in winter. Winter relates to a feeling of numbness and immobility. The laziness in us awakens in the winter.

The next emotion that haunts us is grief and passing away of joy. The sight of falling leaves will leave us with a thought of passing memories. The falling leaves can be thought of as a reminder to a new and more pleasant event that may be coming up. The feeling of loss and failure will be over ridden with the feeling of hope in that case.

At times emotions can act weird with us. There can be a mix of many of them together. One may find oneself in s difficult situation to understand oneself. We are all, unconsciously, people who are guided with the foreplay of emotions. As I said earlier it co-exists with us. Like the passing of the seasons in our life, the emotions would come in and go out leaving a stance every time it makes an entry and an exit.

Falling in Love with Trivandrum Again..!

I had been away from this city since the past five months; precisely four months and 26 days. Life in my host city now is way different when compared to my home land. Now, it’s been two weeks since I’ve been here at the heart of Trivandrum and what say….! I am falling in love with it all over again…Absolutely! Trivandrum when drenched in the rain that pours slightly almost everyday now, is like a rose flower that got drizzled.

I haven’t seen more than one movie having been in Bangalore the past few months. The fact that a movie ticket costs almost Rs. 120 keeps me away from the theatres. The less expensive entertainment that Trivandrum provides us, with the warmth and caress of a dear one, makes one feel more close to home. I saw the movie ‘Swa Le’ just now. The movie was dragging in between, however, it has got a sweet ending. Somehow, after the movie when I got out of the theatre, the breeze gave a sudden gush of happiness inside me. And such happiness happens only when you totally love something.

Some thoughts that are running past my mind now…;

• The hot teas that you get at the road side…nothing can taste better and make you feel better than that on a rainy evening.
  
• The cinema posters that I saw around and still see around, all looked so alien to me the past week. I felt as though I have totally lost touch with this place. But now, all of them are becoming familiar.
  
• The sight of your mother-tongue being displayed on the boards; yes, that also makes me feel so at home.
• Meeting up with old friends....it feels like you are a kid once again..! :)
• Sometimes, a short walk in the rain through the super clean and sometimes really filthy roads would give me a feel to enjoy the blacks and whites of the city and of life.
• And yes, the transport. How I missed the ‘meter system’ and the K.S.R.T.C buses. A crowded bus on a busy day can be fun if you make yourself happy inside it. I had a fun ride once on my way back home.
• Home made food- it is one of the many factors that keep driving me back home often. Nothing can beat the delicacies at home.

After five months from June 11th 2009, Thiruvananthapuram still looks the same except for few changes like the progression of the bridge construction at Bakery Junction, the lawn now totally green and beautiful at Palayam and the slight changes in the bus routes.

All together this city has given me a threshold of memories and places that I keep thinking of to get back to. And often I’ve felt that it is this longing to get back to somewhere you love is one among the factors that keeps life going on. It might me a place or a person or an incident, a moment; let free what it might be, but a hope of happiness at the other end of your life keeps the inner you joyous and glee with enthusiasm.

Once again let me say my heart out…

I am Falling In Love…with Trivandrum…all over again…Absolutely…